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Three Toxins That Kill Happiness – and what to do about them.

Heather Edwards Mental Health Counseling / Articles  / Three Toxins That Kill Happiness – and what to do about them.
Heather Edwards Coach

Three Toxins That Kill Happiness – and what to do about them.

Heather Edwards CoachAs I sit down to write this blog I’m struck by three repeated conversations with clients, family, and friends.  Most of us have clarity about how we want to feel – happy, free, grounded.

But instead we end up frustrated, overwhelmed, and burdened.  We get stuck and confused about how to internalize positivity in an enduring way.

In the quest for the seemingly elusive states of calm and happiness, several common toxins manifest. But you can change them!  Take stock of your life and notice which ones are preventing you from living fully.  Here are the top three culprits…


1.Toxic Relationships: Let’s face it!  Relationships of all sorts can become toxic – friendships, family, and colleagues. Judgements, opinions, and expectations can kill comradery.  Is there someone in your life who boxes you in? Mind you – this is their box, not yours.

When you notice a constriction rather than expansion of your ideas and actions – you’re probably in a toxic relationship. Your gut feeling can be the purest read of the status.

Consider ways to shift the negative energy of unhealthy relationships by setting boundaries, saying what you want, or even cutting ties. Be with the people who support you, believe in you, accept, and encourage you.

Imagine what life would be like if nobody stood in your way.

2.Toxic Beliefs: How are you getting in your own way? When you listen closely to your internal monologue you might hear –  “I can’t do it. I might fail. It’s too hard. I’m not strong enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.” Move toward your power, not away from it.

Say hello to fear, doubt, and uncertainty.  Challenge it.  Replace it with power thoughts. Be a bitch and kick it to the curb! You don’t deserve to fall prey to negative thinking.

You can do anything you want to do. Just believe you are capable, worthy, and enough.

3.Toxic Over-Commitment: Guilty as charged! I’ve experienced all three of these toxins in my life, but this is the one I struggle with most. We all complain that there’s too much on our plate. We’re over obligated and sometimes over responsible.

C’mon! When you already have a meat, grain, veg, fruit, and a dash of dairy on your plate you don’t need more potatoes! So take a breath. Step back. Evaluate the big picture.

Even at the risk of letting someone down, start removing the extra beans. Prioritize.

When you’re overextended you won’t be successful in any of your commitments. Instead, you’ll be tired and over-filled.

How many of these three toxins exist in your life? When you mindfully notice the myriad of distractions, limitations, and influences in your life that get in your way, you can honestly evaluate what serves you well and what doesn’t.

Give yourself permission to say “no”, set boundaries, and make room for change.  You’ll be happy you did.

*As always, share your experiences in the comments section below!  Tweet, Share, and re-post this article on your social media and with friends.  xo

Heather Edwards, LMHC, BCC

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