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Heather Edwards Mental Health Counseling / Relationships

How Setting Boundaries is a Love Language

January 22, 2025
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Anxiety, Relationships, Stress Management

Blurry Boundaries: There’s a quiet tension in undefined spaces. Seeing clear boundaries as a love language is counterintuitive. Let’s be real: we’ve all been there. You don’t want to say “no” because it feels mean or harsh, so you give a half-hearted “sure” or just leave things up in the air. And what happens? Everyone’s confused, tensions rise, and you end up feeling drained. Spoiler alert: trying to “soften the blow” by avoiding clear boundaries doesn’t work—it just makes things worse for everyone. Here’s the hard truth: blurry boundaries are messy. They tap into three of life’s biggest stressors—lack of information, uncertainty, and lack of control. If you’re avoiding the “no” because you think it’s kinder, you’re actually creating a situation where nobody knows what’s happening, and...

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Empathy Cape

Empathy: Your Greatest Superpower That You Rarely Use

June 4, 2024
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Relationships

Grab Your Cape. Let's heal the world. In a world where scrolling through memes and cat videos consumes more time than meaningful conversations, it’s easy to overlook a superpower that we all possess. No, it's not flying or invisibility—though that would be cool. I'm talking about empathy. Empathy is like Wi-Fi for the soul: it connects us to the inner networks of other people's experiences and emotions. When working properly, it can create understanding, compassion, and, dare I say, world peace. Yet, much like Wi-Fi, it can sometimes be frustratingly unreliable. Picture this: You're at a party. You don't know many people, and you're nervously clutching your drink like it’s a life preserver. Suddenly, someone approaches and strikes up a conversation. Instead of the usual small talk, they...

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Ex Updates: Ace a messy breakup

January 30, 2020
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Relationships

Audrey Noble reached out for advice on what to do when you're concerned about a friend's ex following a breakup. This article was posted on Tinder Swipe Life. 5 Ex Updates You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friend About — And The Only One You Absolutely Should “[A lot of] it has to do with the nature of the breakup,” says online dating expert and celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray. Breaking up is hard to do — and we’re not just talking about for the two people involved. What are friends on both sides supposed to do? Unless your pal’s ex was a trash human being, chances are high that you formed at least somewhat of a friendship with them. This leaves you to determine how many and what updates to share with...

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valentine

Valentine My Love: Let’s start over

February 14, 2019
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Relationships

Oh Valentine, imagine a “diamond in the rough” - maybe as a rundown house, a rusty sports car, or your relationship. It’s dusty, decrepit, & deteriorating. Yet, you know that if you gave it a little TLC it could shine again. Houses and cars can be restored. And so can your relationship. All you and your valentine need is a little hope to get the ball rolling. See the potential. Use a little elbow grease. Take a chance. Do something different. Restoring a house or car requires plans, resources, and often a team. The same applies your relationship. First, get clear on what you want to change. Second - and this is the hard part, consider your role in the problem. And lastly, develop a strategy. If communication...

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cosmopolitan flirting

Flirting Moves – Cosmopolitan Style

November 29, 2018
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Relationships

Flirting is one of those things that's always easier in theory. Sure, you understand intellectually that you are a charming person and that people want to talk to you, get to know you, and date you, but when you're swimming in your own thoughts on a first date, all that goes out the window. Not to worry — we've compiled a list of the best flirting tactics ever, so you'll never have to stress about what to say ever again.  CARINA HSIEH featured a couple of my ideas in Cosmopolitan for connecting with a crush. 1. Fake it till you make it. No set of flirting moves will work unless you also genuinely believe that you're the most magnetic person in the room. As Laurel House, dating and flirting...

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HGTV Marriage Therapy

Watching HGTV is the New Marriage Therapy, Just Ask a Therapist

October 1, 2018
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Relationships

A psychotherapist explains why 'House Hunters' and 'Property Brothers' can help adults build better relationships. Marriage Therapy HGTV. In this Fatherly article by Ryan Britt we get creative about using popular tv to bond. Ryan Britt from Fatherly.com interviewed me about my Psychology Today article on HGTV. Scripps Networks There’s a corny line at the end of the classic 1986 comedy The Money Pit that might just sum up why watching HGTV shows together is therapeutic for 21st-century couples. After nearly having their relationship torn apart by a crumbling, slapstick inducing fixer-upper house, Tom Hanks and Shelley Long look to an experienced foreman for wisdom. He provides it. “The foundation was good,” he says. “And if that’s okay, everything else can be fixed!” It’s a heavy metaphor and it lands with a wooden thud....

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valentine

7 Major Topics To Avoid Early On In Relationships

October 1, 2018
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Relationships

Relationships can be tricky. In this Bustle Magazine article by CARINA WOLFF  we get real about hot topics that can be difficult to navigate. Andrew Zaeh for Bustle When you first start dating someone, it's tempting to want to get into the nitty gritty right away. After all, if you see a future, putting restrictions on what you talk about can feel wrong. However, if you are wondering what not to talk about in a new relationship, there are a number of topics that are better suited for later on, when your connection is more established, experts say. These conversations should be had, but just at a more appropriate time when you have a more nuanced understanding of the person you are dating and the relationship. "I believe in being open and transparent, but I...

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Psychology Today – Regret: 8 Ways to Move On

May 12, 2015
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Articles, Psychology Today Articles - In the Press!, Relationships

Regret, Feeling Stuck and Breaking Free Post published by Mark Banschick M.D. on May 01, 2015 in Psychology Today. Whoopsie!  You screwed up royally. You behaved in a way that negatively impacted you, a situation, or the people you love. You can’t let go of the guilt and self loathing for what you did. You believe you must be a bad person. You’re feeling stuck, undeserving of love and happiness, and downright fraudulent. You’ve convinced yourself you’re a monster. The negative thoughts and feelings that accompany the memories of that-thing-that-you-did are creating more problems. You’re damaging yourself – your low self worth causes increased stress and depression. You’re damaging your relationships – believing you don’t deserve to be loved actually builds walls between you and the people most important in your...

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Thanksgiving: A Grateful Heart

November 26, 2014
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Articles, Managing the Holidays, Relationships

Thanksgiving is a time of family, tradition, love, abundance, and appreciation. It’s celebrated nationwide annually by all cultures and religions, and in other countries on different days in different ways.  Here in the USA, it’s the most heavily travelled day of the year marking it as one of the most popular national celebrations.  For many, it kicks off the holiday season beginning an exciting time of gathering, feasting, and memory making. Our celebration of Thanksgiving began in 1621 at a Plymouth feast prompted by a good harvest.  President George Washington proclaimed the first nationwide Thanksgiving celebration on November 26,1789.  He declared it a day observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many favors received. It’s been an annual tradition in the United States since 1863.  In...

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Psychology Today – Saying Goodbye to Hurt

October 10, 2014
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Articles, Psychology Today Articles - In the Press!, Relationships, Stress Management

Lingering resentment from things that have gone wrong is hard to shake. Whether it’s the result of a bad break up or a job loss, it’s best to find some resolution. It would be wonderful if we all got exactly what we wanted, and when we wanted it.  But, the hard truth is that good things often take a lot of time and usually a few set backs along the way. Once you’ve made a strong commitment and things still don’t work out, how do you pick up the pieces and carry on?  To find your center again, you'll have to muster the strength to let go of negative feelings and shift your attention to a world that is more positive. So, how do you get that betrayal or toxic...

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