How to Flip Holiday Madness into Mindfulness
The magic of the holidays is upon us and behold, it can speed toward madness or mindfulness. Some call it the holiday bustle. Others call it pandemonium. Try these 7 tips. ...
psychology Tag
CBT: Spring Clean Your Mindset
Spring has sprung! Just as Mother Nature ditches the dreary dormant season of winter, CBT can shift your mindset from doom to bloom. Think of it as a spring cleaning for your brain. So, grab the mental Swiffer and dust out the cobwebs. Spray the virtual Windex to clear the fog. It's time to blossom. It’s easy to fall into the habit of negative thinking. The shorter, darker, colder days of winter have a real effect on mood and energy. Over time, it can affect your attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors. You might begin to automatically assume worst case scenario's. That fearful belief provokes an anxious feeling that further validates the fear that something will go wrong. It’s a vicious cycle that feeds on itself. It’s partially rooted...
EMDR Therapy: Rewrite your story
EMDR Therapy opens windows in the mind. Imagine rewriting your story. One where YOU decide who you are, how you can be, and how life's challenges affect you. Take a moment to notice how you view yourself in the world. Complete the statement, ”I am_____”. Is your belief negative, such as, “I am unworthy.”, “I am powerless.”, or ”I am unsafe.”? If so, that core belief may be tied to earlier unprocessed memories. What if you could believe something else? What would you rather believe about yourself? I am strong, safe, capable, worthy, lovable, smart… People decide to start EMDR therapy because of anxiety, depression, or pervasive negative beliefs. Francine Shapiro, the originator and developer of EMDR therapy stated that often these experiences are the result of unprocessed memories. When...
Butterflies: Proof of change for good
Change doesn’t happen comfortably. Just when the caterpillar's world was ending, it became a butterfly. The extenuating circumstances you are in right now are also a new beginning. Uncertainty. Isolation. Fear. Instability. Change. Transformation. Transcendence. Each has an affect on mental health, for better or worse. Each is an opportunity for greater compassion. Your everyday life looks distinctly different than it did a few months ago. Whether you’ve been on lockdown, protesting with Black Lives Matter, or struggling to keep a roof over your head or business - this is a time of unprecedented and profound change. You’re experiencing change in how you socialize, work, educate, love, heal, and relate to the world. It’s unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and uncertain. Traumas are triggered. Self preservation is awakened. The status quo is upended. Emotions are...
Pandemic Life: 3 Conversations
Does it feel like you’re in a time warp? Is making decisions and prioritizing a challenge? Are you easily upset? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be living in a pandemic. Lately, therapy conversations related to the threat of COVID-19 revolve around three main concerns. 1. An altered relationship to time. 2. A reevaluation of needs. 3. How the central nervous system reacts to the pervasive threat of death. Let’s start with time. Your normal routine is up-ended. The people you saw, places you went, and appointments you kept are just a memory. You’re not rushing to catch a train, changing your clothes to go to the gym, or squeezing in a visit to a doctor’s office during the workday. You’re losing track of the hours in...
Control vs Concern during quarantine
Right now, things feel out of control. And when things feel out of control, a sense of fear and helplessness can take over your thoughts. You become the metaphorical rat in a maze searching for a way out, or around, the dreaded worst-case-scenario. This can be paralyzing from a psychological perspective. But what if there are things you can influence right now? What if there was a way to discern the difference between your concerns and your control or influence? When the two get muddled together, you lose the distinction between what you can actually change, and what you can't. Then you swan dive into the rabbit hole of hopelessness and isolation. Many people are struggling with control during quarantine. Control leads to self efficacy, feeling proactive, and grounded. So,...
Lust and Love: 3 fire starters
Valentine’s Day inspires love, lust, and for some… disdain. If you fall into the latter group, this blog’s for you. What if your flames of passion have dwindled to a cold, damp, smoldering ash? Or the only “action” you’re getting is a cycle of conflict and avoidance? Or worse, you’re still fumbling blindly seeking the match to ignite the fire that won’t light up. Love and lust are action words. In other words, a verb. And a verb is defined as, “a word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, ...
Ex Updates: Ace a messy breakup
Audrey Noble reached out for advice on what to do when you're concerned about a friend's ex following a breakup. This article was posted on Tinder Swipe Life. 5 Ex Updates You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friend About — And The Only One You Absolutely Should “[A lot of] it has to do with the nature of the breakup,” says online dating expert and celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray. Breaking up is hard to do — and we’re not just talking about for the two people involved. What are friends on both sides supposed to do? Unless your pal’s ex was a trash human being, chances are high that you formed at least somewhat of a friendship with them. This leaves you to determine how many and what updates to share with...
2020 Vision: 29 life-balance tips
Make 2020 a breakthrough year. Stress, fatigue, and overwhelm can keep your head spinning and your to-do list growing. Get off the hamster wheel in 2020 and begin taking corrective action. It’s counterintuitive but, it all starts with slowing down. Make 2020 the year of YOU. Follow these simple tips to hit the reset button. Build clarity, energy, and focus...
Tattoos for healing?
Tattoos date back to neo-Paleolithic times, serving purposes both for good and for bad. They have been used to record history, brand prisoners and slaves, express self-identity, and reclaim control over one’s own body. For many today, clients are claiming trauma recovery benefits. This intriguing Psychology Today guest blog by Heather Edwards combines insight about what tattoos can mean to folks, along with an interview with an artist in the craft, Paul Booth. The notion of a mark on oneself is as ancient as the Mark of Cain, after murdering his brother, Abel in the Book of Genesis. Nathaniel Hawthorn’s Puritan-era “Scarlet Letter” may not have been a tattoo–it was sown to one’s clothing–but it did mark the community’s condemnation of an adulterer. Not surprisingly, there is another side to...
