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love Tag

Lust and Love: 3 fire starters

  Valentine’s Day inspires love, lust, and for some… disdain. If you fall into the latter group, this blog’s for you.  What if your flames of passion have dwindled to a cold, damp, smoldering ash? Or the only “action” you’re getting is a cycle of conflict and avoidance? Or worse, you’re still fumbling blindly seeking the match to ignite the fire that won’t light up.  Love and lust are action words. In other words, a verb. And a verb is defined as, “a word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, ...

cosmopolitan flirting

Flirting Moves – Cosmopolitan Style

Flirting is one of those things that's always easier in theory. Sure, you understand intellectually that you are a charming person and that people want to talk to you, get to know you, and date you, but when you're swimming in your own thoughts on a first date, all that goes out the window. Not to worry — we've compiled a list of the best flirting tactics ever, so you'll never have to stress about what to say ever again.  CARINA HSIEH featured a couple of my ideas in Cosmopolitan for connecting with a crush. 1. Fake it till you make it. No set of flirting moves will work unless you also genuinely believe that you're the most magnetic person in the room. As Laurel House, dating and flirting...

Love Psychotherapy

I Love You: 3 experts on relationships

Who do you love? Celebrate love and relationships. Cultivate meaningful connections. Bond with those who lift you up and keep you accountable to being your best. Create novelty and excitement with those dear to you. Bring play and imagination into your sex life. Live fully with the people who matter to you most. Love yourself. There are decades of research into what makes a healthy relationship. It boils down to three basic components - validation, fun, and attachment. Here are a few nuggets of wisdom from the experts like Dr.’s John & Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, PhD, and Susan Johnson, PhD. 1. To feel loved in a relationship you need to feel validated, acknowledged, understood, and respected. The Gottman‘s recommend turning toward your partner rather than away....

heather edwards, psychotherapist, mindfulness

Your Friends Have It All! 7 Steps to catch up.

Your friends are getting married and having babies. Some are moving to the burbs. Others are advancing in their careers making beaucoup bucks. Status, love, money, and recognition abound for everybody else. But what about you? You’re feeling lost. Your head swirls with uncertainty and doubt. You wonder if you’ll ever get what you want or feel satisfied with your life. You hear the clock ticking as the abyss between you and accomplishment widens. You wonder if you’ll ever catch up to those who seem to have it all. What happened? And where do you begin? Start with stopping. Just “drop in” to yourself and the moment. When your mind is racing and your heart is breaking, you’re probably spending too much time focusing on...

When Romance Dies: 7 Steps to Bounce Back

Someone yanked the carpet out from under you. You’re flabbergasted, broken-hearted, and wondering if you’ll ever love again.  You thought this was the one. It’s hard to imagine life without him. You were already thinking about next steps - marriage and children. What will you tell your friends and family? What will they think of you? Where did you go wrong? Your mind races as the tears flow. It hurts. Yet, as much as you wanted it to work, it wasn’t a perfect relationship anyway. In fact, there’s no perfect relationship. But, what now? Allow yourself to cry. The loss of a relationship - even if YOU did the breaking up - is a loss. It can feel like a mini grief cycle. Your feelings will...

Scarcity to Abundance – Healing from loss

“How do you want to die?” These are the haunting words spoken by her doctor after being diagnosed with stage four cancer. Three months after her passing, I’ve turned toward and through my grief and loss seeking peace. Grief takes time. It can feel overwhelming and eternal. But it eventually changes. The cloud lifts. Clarity and lightness return. Our love for those who have passed before us never dies and perhaps that’s what keeps us moving forward. They’re never really gone. They live on in memories, moments, and a felt sense of connection to them. While sitting on the edge of loss and wholeness, I’m struck by the flood of ideas about cultivating a robust authentic life. It’s an integration of real science from multiple areas of...

What is Love?

This Valentine’s Day I'm challenged to answer the question, “What is love?”. Recent personal events have stretched and profoundly changed me in beautiful and unforeseen ways. Because of this, love has a broader, richer, more complex meaning than before. So when I’m asked the question, “What is love?”. Its definition extends well beyond a Valentine's Day celebration of attraction, sexuality, partnership, and mating. While I appreciate that, it goes much deeper. It's an expression of give-and-take, mutual support, sometimes giving more than you knew you could, truly being there for someone else in their darkest hour, accepting what may be difficult to see, and accepting love in its many forms when it comes back to you. Where do you see love? In heart shapes in the clouds,...

Where is Your Relationship Headed? What’s your love ratio?

[audio m4a="https://g2v.869.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Whats-Your-Love-Ratio-2.m4a"][/audio] Let's begin with a simple checklist for a healthy relationship. How many of these exist in your love life? acceptance empathy respect honesty compassion compatibility trust understanding vulnerability safety consideration compromise communication shared vision and values passion play Yes, life gets in the way sometimes. Take time out to nurture your love. There are evidence based ways to build healthy, lasting relationships. Here are a few of them...

7 Paths to Peace Amidst Terror

Anger. Fear. Helplessness. Rage. Suspicion. Guilt. Despair. These are just a few of the negative emotions felt all over the world since the Paris and Beirut terror attacks last week. Like a suction cup, you're glued to the TV, Internet, and radio. You are scared. And you’re angry that you’re scared. Layering feelings upon feelings. It means they won. You want this to go away. Yet you obsess about what’s next and what it means for your future. It marks the beginning of World War 3. It’s something you didn't foresee in your lifetime. Questions abound. Is it best to stay home? Should I avoid the city? Are the subways safe? Can I freely discuss my concerns? How do I know if the person next to me is...

Heather Edwards psychotherapy and coaching

The Pain of Grief: and how to live through it

Suddenly someone you love is gone. You're faced with an irreversible new reality - a life without a loved one you thought would always be there. You feel hopeless, distraught, and life has lost its meaning. Grief can send you spiraling into despair. A death, break up, or an illness can dramatically change your life. Each type of loss has a profound effect on wellbeing. But when armed with awareness of the natural processes of healing, it can be easier to navigate this unwanted life transition. There is a beginning, middle, and end. And it gets better. Grief can make you stronger, kinder, more gracious, and loving when you come out on the other side of it. But it requires a passing through. It can feel like a...