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Heather Edwards Mental Health Counseling / Posts tagged "marriage"

When Romance Dies: 7 Steps to Bounce Back

July 17, 2017
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Articles

Someone yanked the carpet out from under you. You’re flabbergasted, broken-hearted, and wondering if you’ll ever love again.  You thought this was the one. It’s hard to imagine life without him. You were already thinking about next steps - marriage and children. What will you tell your friends and family? What will they think of you? Where did you go wrong? Your mind races as the tears flow. It hurts. Yet, as much as you wanted it to work, it wasn’t a perfect relationship anyway. In fact, there’s no perfect relationship. But, what now? Allow yourself to cry. The loss of a relationship - even if YOU did the breaking up - is a loss. It can feel like a mini grief cycle. Your feelings will...

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What is Love?

February 14, 2017
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Articles

This Valentine’s Day I'm challenged to answer the question, “What is love?”. Recent personal events have stretched and profoundly changed me in beautiful and unforeseen ways. Because of this, love has a broader, richer, more complex meaning than before. So when I’m asked the question, “What is love?”. Its definition extends well beyond a Valentine's Day celebration of attraction, sexuality, partnership, and mating. While I appreciate that, it goes much deeper. It's an expression of give-and-take, mutual support, sometimes giving more than you knew you could, truly being there for someone else in their darkest hour, accepting what may be difficult to see, and accepting love in its many forms when it comes back to you. Where do you see love? In heart shapes in the clouds,...

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Psychology Today – Got Relationship Blues?

April 9, 2014
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Psychology Today Articles - In the Press!

(Hint: Stop Criticizing) Why endless criticism is doomed to failure. Published on April 4, 2014 by Mark Banschick, M.D. in Psychology Today   Look at your relationship. The problems seem obvious. But, what are the solutions? Heather Edwards breaks down relationship problems into a digestible form,making it easier for you to do what’s needed to be happier. The Good Relationship: Sometimes the key to discovering what works best in a relationship is eliminating what we knowdoesn’t work. There are a number of scientifically proven actions that destroy relationships. John Gottman calls these the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” So let’s start there.  Criticism: The first is Criticism. Unless this is constructive with the intent of helping, it’s probably hurtful. In destructive criticism, couples will attack each other’s personality or character in an effort to prove who is right and who is wrong. It leaves both feeling angry and...

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Psychology Today – The Fire of Love

March 19, 2014
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Articles, Psychology Today Articles - In the Press!, Relationships

Do You Want A Better Love Life?  This article was published on February 12, 2014 in Psychology Today.  It was coauthored by  Mark Banschick, M.D. We all want love. We want to be seen, validated, treasured and wanted. And we want to give. We want the freshness of love to invigorate our lives and put the whole world into perspective. Love is more than sex…more than adoration…more than warm memories. It is alive and vibrant, like a warm fire on a cold winter’s day. Keep it stoked and it stays alive. Let it lie fallow, and don’t expect it to last. With winter upon us, we've teamed up with guest blogger Heather Edwards about kindling more love in your life. Good things need attention – it’s a lesson about happiness. A Day of Love  Consider...

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The Four Horsemen vs. The Michelangelo Effect

February 21, 2014
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Articles, Relationships

The problems are obvious.  What are the solutions? Sometimes the key to discovering what works best in a relationship is evaluating and eliminating what we know doesn’t work.  We know there are a few scientifically proven actions that destroy relationships.  John Gottman calls these the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”.  So let’s start there. The first is Criticism.  Unless this is constructive with the intent of helping, it’s probably hurtful.  In destructive criticism, couples will attack each other’s personality or character in an effort to prove who is right and who is wrong.  It leaves both feeling angry and dissatisfied in the long and short run.  These statements tend to start with generalizations, and include absolute words like “always” and “never”. The second is Contempt.  In this communication...

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Everyday is Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2014
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Articles, Relationships

Valentine’s Day is the day of love notes, red roses, and heart shaped chocolates. Romance is awakened and we feel reconnected.  For centuries, it's celebrated as a day to declare and honor our one true love. Some love it.  Some hate it.  Some just follow the relationship protocol.  There are those who yearn for a special day of gifts, romance, and kindness. There are those who loathe the “Hallmark Holiday”, deeming it contrived and corporate.  There are those who choose not to rock the "love boat" and dutifully follow tradition.  Whether you love it, hate it, or are apathetic to it, it happens every year - and this year its happening 3 days from now.  What's one to do? Imagine removing the pressure of finding the perfect...

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Psychology Today – Getting Unstuck: Kick Starting Your Marriage

October 28, 2013
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Articles, Conflict Resolution, Psychology Today Articles - In the Press!, Relationships

This article is published in Psychology Today by Mark Banschick and Heather Edwards. When your relationship needs repair...

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